sometimes im just tired of it all really.
i feel like my family doesn't understand just what im like. they think im magically going to become comfortable being dragged around to public places. but im not. im awkward and uncomfortable, and i panic.
i really wish i wasnt like this, i have tried, and its never worked. i mean i had spent a few hours crying in the bathroom of a hospital on thansgiving for gods sake after sitting around for so long just for some stupid meds to get made for my cousin. yeah its gonna prevent her from catching what my uncle got, but jesus!
im just...tired of myself sometimes.